Candy Is Dandy
by Karkalicious769
Summary: When the meteor passes through a Dream Bubble, Karkat runs into his dancestor, Kankri, who somehow got on board without the password. However, something seems... off about him. He's sparkly, pink, and has no sense of personal space at all. Karkat, who usually can't stand him on a good day, finds himself… feeling red for his dancestor? Well, anything can happen in Trickster mode.


The meteor was quiet as Karkat shuffled towards his respiteblock, bleary eyed and yawning. He had just finished his traditional movie night with Dave, and was worn out from the lack of sleep.

At first, his feelings for the blonde had been questionable - black, red, or pale? - but now there was no denying it. He was hopelessly, utterly, and pathetically pale for the Strider. Because that would work out _great_.

For fucks sake, Dave didn't even know the _symbols_ for the quadrants! Karkat would have to teach him sometime. That was sure to be an event filled with irony.

As he approached his respiteblock door, complaining to himself about how dumb emotions were, Karkat hears the sounds of running footsteps. He paused, listening intently, and that was all the warning he got before Terezi was flying straight at him.

He cried out as she tackled him, the force she used throwing both of them a good distance down the hall.

"Terezi, the fuck?" He shouted furiously, pushing the blind troll off of him.

She giggled, allowing her weight to be moved without protest. "Hello to you too, Karkles. Just came to tell you that we're approaching another Dream Bubble."

Karkat just sighed, rubbing his temples. "Great, more assholes I don't give a shit about to drive me absolutely batshit fucking insane."

Terezi laughed harder, standing and dusting herself off as she does so. "You don't have to interact with them, you know."

He rolled his eyes, reaching up and grabbing the hand Terezi offered to him, letting her pull him into a standing position as an apology for knocking him down in the first place. "Yeah, whatever. I'm going to take a nap anyway, so it's not like it matters."

She nodded, moving down the hall in the opposite direction she came from. "You do that, but me and Dave are going to hang out with Latula if she's here. You remember her, right?" Terezi questioned, and Karkat resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

How could he forget about her? Another Pyrope to prove just how pathetic the Vantas' were, pinning over girls that they would never even have a chance with.

"Uh, yeah, I remember her." Karkat told her instead, moving towards his respiteblock, already thinking about his nice, cool recuperacoon. "Have fun, I guess." He waved at her retreating figure, and she waved back before turning the corner and jogging out of sight.

"Finally..." He muttered, exhausted, as he opened his door, shutting the door behind him. Karkat yawned once more, reaching down and pulling his sweater up and off, exposing his sensitive grub scars to the cold air. He shivered and tossed the fabric aside before reaching for the buttons on his jeans. Those go next, followed by his socks and shoes.

He rubbed the side of his recuperacoon, fiddling with the hem of his boxers with a frown. Technically, it wasn't necessary to remove all your undergarments to sleep comfortably in a recuperacoon, but it was recommend, and Karkat really hated when the cotton fabric stuck to him in an unrecognizable blob of green. He sighed before stripping completely, his underwear joining the rest of his clothes on the floor.

After that's done, Karkat climbed up to the entrance, blushing at the thought of someone seeing him like this. His bulge tingles at the thought of how such a situation would play out, but he quickly gets it under control by sliding the lower-half of his body into the slime filled recuperacoon.

He sighed happily at the familiar feeling and sinks deeper until only nothing below his eyes are visible. Closing his eyes, Karkat took one more deep breath before disappearing under the surface of the slime. The effects of the drug-filled material started working immediately. He curled up into a little ball, his legs tucked into his chest, before reaching up and grabbing the hatch, pulling to shut and plunging the little space into darkness. The beginnings of sleep pulled at the edge of his mind, and he succumbs willingly, falling asleep before he can fully enjoy the beautiful blankness of his empty thoughts...

All too soon, it's over and Karkat was awake. He struggled to move, the heaviness of the limbs that haven't quite yet woken up dragging him down. After a moment, he convinced his arm to move and pushed open the hatch keeping the warm air locked in. He shivered at the open air but climbs out nonetheless. Damn, he really needed a shower. He had always found soper unpleasant, but never more than when it was clinging to him. It seemed especially thick right then though, and he was glad he had opted to go without underwear.

"This is gonna take for fucking ever to wash off," he muttered, pushing a clumped portion of his hair back into place irritably.

 ** _"Then why bother?"_** Came a voice from his right. **_"It's delicious. And besides, I happen to like you better like this, anyway. Much more... vulnerable."_** A pair of clammy hands grip his shoulders, and Karkat shivers, whirling around to see-

Nobody.

There is absolutely no one there. He shook his head in disbelief. The soper must've been fucking with him. Yeah, that was it. Definitely. Just the soper. Some probably got in his mouth while he was sleeping. That was all.

Unnerved, he padded over to the bathroom, which was luckily attached to his respiteblock, and locks the door behind him before turning on the shower. He shivered again, but this time from the cold bathroom tiles, and not because of a figment of his imagination.

Still, something about the voice he had heard was off-putting. It was familiar for starters, but it was more than just that, he knew.

He might as well ponder the secrets to the universe in the shower though, and, after checking to make sure it was warm enough, he stepped in, letting the water cascade down his back. The soper was soon gone, swept away by the steady streams, and then Karkat was just standing there, letting the water hit him in it's soothingly familiar way.

 _ **"You know what? I think I changed my mind. Forget soper, you're so much better... wet."**_ The voice spoke again, and Karkat jumps, swiveling around with his heaviest bottle clasped in both hands.

He was so on edge that his nails were becoming pointed, and he had to put the bottle down, lest he poke a hole in it and run out of his favorite body wash. Vanilla and lilac, a familiar scent and one he had grown accustomed to. It would have been a shame to puncture the bottle and ruin it all.

Growling slightly, Karkat shut off the water and stepped out cautiously, all without turning back around. He was determined to find out who was doing this, because it was becoming painfully clear that it was no 'figment of his imagination'. His past self must have been an idiot to actually believe that.

With trepidation, he secured one towel around his waist and used the other to scrub his hair until he was almost positive there was a bruise forming on his scalp. Only then does he step outside, ignoring the cold air, and make his way to his dresser. He had forgotten to bring clothes to the bathroom with him, and part of him wanted to just grab his stuff and go back, but the stubborn side of him, the side that wanted whoever this was to see just how little he cared, won out.

Karkat dropped his towel and, completely naked, begins searching for something to wear. Still wary, he shuffled through his options, but for some reason everything was either too big or too small. That was a little odd, but he'd dealt with worse wardrobe malfunctions, and grabbed a shirt that would probably be big even on Dave, and a pair of sweatpants two sizes too big. The pants hung so low on his waist that he was surprised they even stayed up, and the sweater reached his knees and the sleeves covered his hands. But it was an easy outfit to slip on, and much more comfortable than his previous clothes had everything stopped being so weird, he'd ask Kanaya to make more outfits in this size.

As a second thought, he opened his underwear drawer, which he really should have done first, only to find that it was completely empty. Either Kanaya was doing another clothes burning, or something strange was going on.

It would probably be best to find her, just to be safe.

He opened his door, which was unlocked for some reason even though that could only be done from the inside, and began walking, his bare feet slapping against the smooth floor of the hallway. There was something very wrong about the meteor, but he couldn't put his finger on it until he walked underneath a fluorescent light, only to find that the familiar buzz of the light bulb wasn't there. It was deathly still, and eerily silent.

"This is fucked up." He said, wincing as his voice, actually a quiet volume for him, bounced around the empty hall. It was so unnerving to be all alone on this hunk of rock, that Karkat actually did have to muffle a scream when a voice whispered into his ear;

 ** _"Aw, you don't like it? And after I worked so hard to make it special for just you and me."_**

Again, he turns around, and again there's no one there, just a blurred streak of pink that's gone before he can make out any helpful features.

Taking a deep breath, Karkat began walking quickly towards the kitchen, where Kanaya and Rose spent most of their time talking. He wouldn't even mind running into Gamzee by this point. Anyone would be better than the suffocating loneliness he was feeling. Laughter made it's way to his ears, loud, happy, and-

Coming from right behind him.

Karkat didn't even stop to think. He took off, running as fast as he possibly could in the opposite direction. The laughter faded, but it didn't leave, instead it nagged at him, like an itch you can't scratch. It was in his head, bouncing around gleefully, teasing and taunting him with it's presence. Karkat closed his eyes, not caring if he ran into a wall, only to trip over his longer pants and go flying, sprawling across the floor in a pathetic heap.

He takes a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. His chest was falling and rising faster than normal, and he was sticky with sweat, but Karkat couldn't bring himself to care. The laughter was finally gone, and that was all that mattered.

After a few more minutes of sweet, sweet silence, Karkat forced himself into a sitting position and stood up, pressing himself against the wall when a sudden wave of vertigo hit him. After it's gone though, he felt fine and began walking forward again-

Only to run directly into someone's back.

Immediately, a grin broke across his face and Karkat almost felt like doing a little jig. He wouldn't though, that was stupid. "Thank fucking god, another living being!" The person didn't look like any of his friends from the back, but he just chalked that up to the fact that he was delusional. "You have literally no goddamn clue how great it is to see you!" He goes to say more, and possibly ask why the hallway was so long today, but before he can, the person turns around.

He blinked, trying to process who he was seeing. Then their face clicked somewhere in his memory, and Karkat groaned in frustration. "Oh, you have got to be shitting me! Not _you_!"

Grinning in a way that made his stomach churn and made Gamzee's grin seem like a frown, Kankri looked down at him, radiating uncomfortable levels of joy, excitement, and… something else that Karkat didn't quite recognize.

He shook off the feeling though, words already pouring out of his mouth before he can stop it. "Along with all the shit happening today, I have to deal with you on top of it! If I ever believed in troll Jesus at all, it'd probably lose faith in him, as well as all of humanity, right about fucking now. _That's_ how fucking done I am not only _you_ , but also this festering pile of hoofbeast shit more commonly referred to as, 'my life'."

He took a breath, something he - unlike Kankri - had to do, but before he can get another word out, the older Vantas pressed a finger to his lips, still grinning bizarrely. **_"Haha, you need to calm down, Kitten. I wasn't looking for a lecture, just…"_** He trailed off, not that Karkat noticed. He was still stuck on that ridiculous nickname. God, and he had thought the ones Dave came up with were bad. Karkat did, however, notice when Kankri grabbed him by the shoulders and leaned in, breath tickling his ear, **_"Just trying to have a lil' fun~"_** He says in a sing-song voice. **_"No need to be so… feisty."_**

Karkat jerked away, adrenaline pumping as his eyes shift side to side nervously, prepared to run as soon as possible. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" He demanded, wincing as his voice came out more fearful than he had intended.

Kankri turned his head sideways with a confused grin. **_"I don't know what you're talking about! I haven't felt more myself in a long, long time!"_** He leaned back in, balancing his head in his hands in a way that very strongly reminded Karkat of a stereotypical teenage girl laying on her bed. **_"This is eye opening, KitKat! You should try it sometime!"_**

Taking a step back once more, Karkat tried to remain calm. Not that it was working. "Uh, no thanks, I'm good without the seizure inducing sparkles. Really. Right as rain, that's me."

 ** _"Nonsense!"_** Kankri insisted. **_"You've never known true happiness like this! The others shared your opinion, too, but I showed them how wrong they were!"_** He shared, still grinning in a way that sent shivers down Karkat's spine. However, at the mention of 'others', he did stop retreating.

"What do you mean 'others'?" He questions warily, preparing to pull his sickles from his strife specibus should the need arise.

At this, Kankri straightened back up into a sort of standing position, tapping his chin in thought. **_"Well, there was Cronus, Porrim, Latula, then I came here and helped Kanaya, I think was her name, the two humans, and also the younger Serket."_** He finished, having counted each person off on his fingers as he mentioned them. **_"Not that_** **they** ** _matter, now that I have_** **you** ** _."_**

Pretending to be totally calm, Karkat backed up faster than before, trying to go back down the hallway to his room, only to run straight into a wall.

Wide-eyed, Karkat swirled around, banging a fist on the wall in desperation. Amazingly enough, the wall that hadn't been there before was solid. It didn't seem like he'd be getting past it anytime soon.

 ** _"Why so scared, Kitty? It's not like I'm going to hurt you or anything."_** He said, laughing. For some reason Karkat found that hard to believe. **_"What I have in mind isn't nearly so…"_** He licked his lips, **_"...horrific."_**

This peaked his interest, as much as Karkat hated to admit it, and he raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by-?" He began to say, only to be cut off when, instead of answering, Kankri grabbed him by the shirt collar and yanked him closer.

Before he had the chance to pull away, or even process what's happening, Kankri was kissing him, long and deep. He tasted of cherry candy and his lips were so soft that Karkat relaxes into his touch almost instantly, nearly forgetting the circumstances of the kiss and the fact that, oh right, his dancestor was _fucking insane_.

Without thinking, Karkat reached into his specibus and pulled out one of his sickles, swinging at Kankri blindly. He felt it hit something solid, and a second later, Kankri let him go, gripping a torn hole on the arm of his pink sweater. Karkat watched, transfixed, as Kankri pulls his hand away, the sticky, pink, glitter-infused blood that gave him life coating his hand and dripping down his forearm to the cement floor.

 _Drip drip drip_

Neither says a word as Kankri slowly looked up at him, a smile still on his face, but rage burning in his eyes. There was more blood on his lips and teeth, but it was red, and it took Karkat a minute to realize that Kankri must have bit him during the kiss. That would certainly explain the (surprisingly pleasant) cherry taste filling his mouth.

 _Drip drip drip_

 ** _"You shouldn't have done that, Karkat."_** He warned, voice even more unstable than before. It was the first time he'd actually used Karkat's real name, but he couldn't count it as a victory. Not with the way Kankri was looking at him. Like he was an animal set for slaughter.

 _Drip drip drip_

Karkat turned - for what he wasn't sure - but before he can consider the solid wall in front of him, Kankri had already moved, one arm wrapped around his waist and the other holding a sparkly pink sickle. **_"Now now, Kat, what's the rush?"_** He giggled, all anger seemingly gone as he leaned in and nipped at Karkat's earlobe. **_"Don't go. I just got you, after all."_**

Karkat began to object, but then the tender moment was shattered and Kankri whirled him around, slamming the younger troll against the wall with unexpected harshness. As his head connected with the wall, Karkat gasped in pain, only for his mouth to be quickly covered by Kankri's, effectively silencing his moans of protest. His hands slither up Karkat's skirt, caressing his grub scars in a way that has him begging for more and would've brought him to his knees had Kankri not been holding him up.

Somewhere, deep, _deep_ inside of himself, Karkat knew this was wrong, that Kankri was definitely off his fucking handle, but it didn't seem important to him anymore. Kankri's kisses were intoxicating, almost like drugs as they made-out against the wall with increasing passion. Karkat didn't know why he considered fighting, and his hands went up, tangling in Kankri's sea-foam green hair as he runs a thumb along one of his (only slightly) bigger horns.

Kankri moaned into his mouth, and the sound sends the blood straight to Karkat's bone bulge. He let out a lengthy moan, pulling away to breathe. A thin strand of saliva connected their mouths, and Kankri smirked seductively before sticking his tongue out and licking it away. Karkat stared at his tongue, mesmerized, and when he finally managed to look away, he can't help but look at the reflection of himself in Kankri's pure white eyes. Trickster or not, he was still dead, and that wasn't changing anytime soon.

Instead of the black hair all trolls naturally have, Karkat is surprised to find that his hair has gone completely red. His skin has been tinted pink, but not a ridiculous shade like the ones humans have. It's just... pink, like the cuttlefish Feferi used to care for. There's a bow the same shade of pink tied around the base of one of his horns, along with some cherries scattered in his hair. He can tell Kankri is eyeing the bow too, possibly trying to figure out the best way to get it off. Without using his hands, that is. Karkat's sweater has even turned white, and his sign in now proudly colored with his bright red blood.

Strangely enough, Karkat found that he didn't really mind.

Kankri whistled lowly in appreciation. **_"Nice, make over, Kitkat."_** He compliments, his eyes trailing up and down his dancestor's physique approvingly. **_"How do you feel?"_**

Karkat frowned slightly, licking his dry lips and trying to speak through the funny way his vocal cords feel. "I feel…" He began, but stopped, clearing his throat. _"I feel-"_ Third time's the charm. **_"I feel great!"_** He shouted, smiling brightly at Kankri and laughing. **_"Wow, I've never felt so good!"_**

 ** _"I can tell."_** The older Vantas responded with a chuckle, gesturing to the ground. Looking down, Karkat discovered that he was, in fact, floating without the help of Kankri. It was surprisingly easy; almost like a second nature.

 ** _"Thanks for introducing me to this!"_** Karkat cried gleefully, wrapping his arms around Kankri's neck and giving him a quick- that is, _long_ kiss.

 ** _"Don't thank me just yet, Karcrab, we haven't even gotten to the fun part!"_** He informed the other, wrapping an arm around Karkat's waist and sneaking a few gropes on his ass. Karkat, of course, doesn't notice.

 ** _"You mean it gets better than this?"_** He asked the older Vantas, looking genuinely shocked that _anything_ could top the way Trickster mode made you feel.

Kankri nodded enthusiastically. **_"Oh, yes! The humans told me about this thing called 'marriage', and from how they described it, it sounds like something we would enjoy together!"_** He paused, thinking, before adding, **_"And also babies! The humans seemed very enthusiastic about that!"_**

Karkat nodded along, grinning widely at the thought. **_"They both sound like a lot of fun! But which one should we do first?"_** He tapped his chin in thought, pouting cutely. He of course knew what marriage and human babies were. Dave had been quick to explain it to him after Rose and Kanaya officially became matesprits.

 ** _"I think I have an idea."_** Kankri said in a low voice, quickly dipping Karkat and kissing him deeply. They don't part for a long time, but when they do, Karkat found that, somehow, they had ended up in one of the human bedroom's. Not that he cared. In Karkat's mind, the only important thing was the hand working it's way down his pants, one stroking his bulge teasingly through his boxers, and the other tweaking his horn at just the right moments. Kankri looked up at him, eyes heavy with lust, and-

Karkat wakes up in a panic, shooting out of the soper and spitting out the stuff that got in his mouth. He breaths in and out steadily, trying to calm his racing heartbeat while also trying to work out his dream. What the fuck had that been? Some sort of sick fantasy, or what? He honestly wasn't sure. It was just so vivid too, like it had really happened. He shivers at the memory, but not in a bad way.

At any rate, he can at least worry about it in the shower.

He steps out of his recuperacoon naked, the way he got in, and breathes a sigh of relief. Nothing seems to have changed about him physically, and he takes that as a good sign. Karkat steps into the bathroom, reaching for the shower handle when-

 ** _"Ready for round two, Karkitten?"_** Kankri whispers huskily into his ear, his hand already down and gently teasing the area around his nook.

Karkat shivers in pleasure, and looks in the mirror, taking in his pink skin, red hair, and bright grin. He knows what his answer will be without even having to consider it. **_"Yes."_**

* * *

 **A/N: Did anyone ask for one shitty Vantascest oneshot? Because I have plenty.**


End file.
